Overused Themes
by thisimplicity
Summary: your worst nightmare smashed in to one fanfiction.


I have too much free time.

**Overused Naruto Themes**  
Except chaos and insanity and spelling errors.

warning: if you don't want your perfect ideals ruined about Naruto fanfiction, don't read this. I really don't care.

I disclaim already.

* * *

Sasuke walked down the streets, hands in his pockets. He had something dire to say, something he didn't understand, but he must, and when he says must, he means MUST say.

So nearly collapsing on the floor, he grabbed the hands in front of him and cried for all to hear, "SAKURA I'VE BEEN BLIND AND I'VE BEEN AN IDIOT TO IGNORE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"

Sakura yanks her hand away and frowns, "We've already been through this Sasuke – a billion gazillion times literally! I've changed – I've gotten a whole lot smarter and stronger – no way – younger men are so immature – I'm with Kakashi now."

Ino, who has gotten over her ridiculous crush on Sasuke buts in "I thought you were with Neji?"

"No – that was last month Ino."

"Oh – jeez I better find Shikamaru…I hope he's not with that Temari bitch again…I told him to stay away from her! Damn him!"

Sasuke falls in to a dark depression and decides to resurrect his dead brother so he could kill him again for fun. Maybe after killing him the hundredth time, Sakura would like him. Maybe. It was worth a shot.

"SHIKAMARU!" Ino cried.

"All women are troublesome, my mother is troublesome, this friken 200 IQ is friken troublesome, the grass is troublesome, my deer are troublesome, and you're troublesome…there I used the word troublesome eight times in one troublesome sentence, how troublesome."

Ino takes out a big enormous sledgehammer and promptly pounds the poor man in to the floor, "DON'T MAKE ME TURN VIOLENT ON YOU!"

"This is so – "

"SHIKAMARU I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT WORD AGAIN!" Another voice cries.

"I love clouds."

"OR THAT!"

"Jeez troublesome women – that's my whole troublesome vocabulary."

"HE'S MY MAN BITCH STAY AWAY!" Ino and Temari immediately engage in something that involves slapping, scratching, biting, and in all well, a full out bitch fight.

"I can't believe they like that lazy chuunin butt." Sakura comments at the side.

"Its because of his brains…women like nerds." Kakashi with style, poofs in. Though his hair is like Einstein, gray, and you can only see one eye…he's still unbearably attractive.

"WHAT EW NO"

"You liked Sasuke didn't you? And Neji? And me? WE're all ooberly overmacho powerful and super braniaco – that makes us nerds with muscles right?"

"Kakashi! I'm breaking up with you!"

"Fine! I'm too perverted and old anyways!"

Meanwhile.

"I think we should stop Tenten – you're all beaten up and bloody…"

"Good god gracious no! You haven't even touched me yet!"

"Touched you?"

"As in touched me with a kunai pervert!"

"since I'm feeling overwhelmingly gracious today, I'll even carry you home."

"And get married too?"

"Sure why not – it's better than falling in love with my own cousin whom I dearly love now all because of Naruto."

"That's great Neji! I've always wanted to tell you that I love you! You're so cold and serious and hardly ever show your emotions but since we're teammates I'm sure everything can work out!"

"By the way – where's Lee?"

All alone in his room Lee sits down on his bed then wails, "HOW COME I NEVER GET A GIRL! AND YET I HAVE TO BE HAPPY FOR MY FRIENDS TOO! WHY? WHY AM I CURSED WITH THESE EYEBROWS! AND TIGHT SPANDEX PANTS! WHY!"

A hurricane filled with sparkles and really anything shiny bursts through the door, "HOOOO LEE! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU!"

"GAI SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

At the same time.

"H-hello N-naruto-o k-kun…"

"Oh hi Hinata! You're stuttering as usual!"

"O-oh s-sorry I-ts"

"Hey…since all of a sudden I've developed incredible powers because I go on extensive trips away from Konoha so often and since I've matured in a span of three years I think I finally understand everything about women! And I can deduce that because you stutter, blush, and rub your fingers together every time you're around me it means that you have a crush on me! I'm fine with that Hinata! I like you too!"

stops stuttering "_Really_?"

Meanwhile

"GAI SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And…

"I've made up my mind Iruka!" Kakashi cries as he leaps inside the room.

"What the hell? Didn't we banish you from ever visiting me again!"

"I just broke up with Sakura! I give up on women, from this day I'm gay!" Kakashi wags his only free eyebrow, "And available!"

Iruka screams.

Mhm…While Iruka continues screaming and Kakashi continues wagging his only free eyebrow. Tsunada watches all this chaos in her Hokage tower and laughs.

Maniacally

Like

"BUAWHAHAHAHAHA hack hack HAHa aa cough wheeze haHahahh ha haaa haaa ha ha ha WHEEZE WHEEZE ahhh… cough cough cough hack sputter pah…I give up already!"

Damn jutsu…fools me in to thinking breathing so much is okay for my ancient body… 

"Someone make Naruto Hokage already! He's powerful enough! And he's the only guy here that understands women! God! Someone get me some sake! wheeze wheeze!"

…

Ten years later…

Shikamaru ends up living two lives. One with a psychotic woman that slaps him all day…and the other…

Um…

With another psychotic woman that slaps him with a FAN all day. Oooh…improvement there.

Funny though…he still enjoys his life. After all, what more can you ask for but two psychotic women?

Neji and Tenten get married. There's no argument there. They end up having many white-eyed senbon freakish children that manage to be cute and adorable at the same time.

Hinata and Naruto get married. There's a lot of argument going on there. I mean…where did Sakura go in the picture? Or Ino? Or Temari? Or Tenten? And SASUKE? Doesn't matter. Hinata and Naruto. They're a happy couple. You disagree, and the Rokudaime will kick your ass.

Sasuke is suddenly happy and giddy, wins Sakura's heart, and are happily wedded together with Itachi somewhere…in the picture…

I mean…

He could either be

1 Dead  
2 Having an affair with Sakura  
3 Having an affair with Sasuke  
4 Having an affair with Kisame  
5 Alive, happy and giddy  
6 Alive, brooding and plotting  
7 Held hostage for unknown and inappropriate reasons by massive fan girls

Kakashi and Iruka…

Well and other chuunin and jounin men who have given up on women.

You get the idea.

Let's check on Gai and Lee instead

"gai sensei…"

"l – le…eee…"

"g --- ai sensei…."

"lee. Eeee… cough eee…"

"gai…se----eh"

"eee…"

"gugh…"

"…"

"sensei?"

"…"

"nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!11111111oneoneoneone"

* * *

the end. 


End file.
